There is a reason most blogs don’t last long: writing is
hard and time consuming. Don’t believe me? Start your own blog and see. My
point is that I haven’t been here in a while. While there are many reasons for
this, I won’t bore you with an itemized list. I just came here to talk with my
past self for a bit. Why?
Because past me was kind of an idiot.
I’m going to provide some 21 year old me commentary on 19
year old me’s previous blog post. Here we go. Down the rabbit hole.
I kind of went
straight into posting whatever I wanted before telling all of you (nonexistent)
readers out there what my blog was all about.
You had two posts before this. You make it seem like you had
dozen blog posts about random things before this “introductory” one. Also,
you’re a big, fat liar. You didn’t even know what your blog was going to be
about back then. False confidence doesn’t always lead to real confidence… At
least you got the “nonexistent” part right.
Initially, I was reluctant to even do a post
like this. I mean, how many times can you read, Hi, my name is ____ and I’m gonna post all sorts of stuff, and it’s
gonna be AWESOME!!!! before the urge to punch your computer screen becomes
too strong to resist? I really don’t want to find out, so I’m going to try and
make this as painless as possible.
Oh. I forgot. You think you’re funny. Ok, so maybe that
hasn’t changed, but this is more weird than funny. You were right to be
reluctant to do this post.
My name is Sarah, but
you can call me Ninja.
No. No. NO. Stop trying to make “Ninja” happen. It’s never
going to happen. Call me Sarah.
I write weekly posts
on observations I make about life.
Ha. Try an unbearably long hiatus. You didn’t even make it a
week. You regretted this as soon as you posted it and just stopped trying when
the anxiety and pressure of deadlines and what might happen hit you in the face
like a sock full of quarters.
Oh no! you imaginary
readers might be thinking. It’s yet
another blog by a whiney teenager who wants to get attention by writing every
little mundane thought down and expecting everyone to hang on to their every
word.
This again? Really? Well… okay I guess. Showcasing your
“individuality” by falling back on the stereotype of whiny teenagers is a low
blow… and a complete lie. If anyone was whiny it was you.
This is not a blog
like that. This blog aims to point out the good and hilarious things in life.
Not only is this incredibly naïve, it didn’t even happen.
You learn pretty quickly after this that you don’t have very many happy things
to share. To be sure, there are good things in life. But they’re hard for you
to find for quite awhile after you post this.
If I start to post
depressing or artificially “deep” thoughts on here, you have permission to slap
me.
Limiting yourself to “happy” posts was quite possibly the
dumbest thing you wrote that day. That’s including the horrendous nickname you
tried to give yourself.
Seriously, come find me and slap me.
Depressing thoughts go in a special folder on my hard drive. Make sure I keep
them there.
Even though the idea behind it was faulty, this folder still
exists. You have yet to learn that you actually like to write poetry. You also
don’t know yet that poetry which provokes deep emotion is okay to read. You
were in denial about your true feelings, so you emphasize the happy to try and
trick yourself into thinking you were happy. You were happy a lot, but you also
felt a shadow threatening to overwhelm you and you ignored it. Fat lot of good
that did. Really. Bravo! Queen of Denial should be your new nickname.
Besides, there are too
many good things in life to constantly focus on the bad.
While a person should not “constantly focus on the bad,”
they also shouldn’t ignore it completely.
Obligatory
Introductory Blog Post: Mission
Just… no.
Now that I’ve finished correcting myself, there are some
things you should know:
1. I’m going to try and post stuff here again.
2. It won’t all be happy
3. I honestly have no idea what this blog is going to be
about
4. Please, don’t call me Ninja
4. Please, don’t call me Ninja
